Before York was called York, it was called Jorvik. Before that it was called Eboracum. York moved forwards from it's roman beginnings and I moved on too. Today I went back to what I had been, what I had known.
Like many Sundays before, I met the girls for a post-Saturday night brunch. We met at 'Meltons Too' on Walmgate. We odered cappucinos, tea and other fluids to help shake off the Saturday night leftover haze. It was great to see them all. We swopped gifts for Christmas, S smiled and opened hers early. I collected things to take back to Paris ready for my birthday.
We shopped afterwards, went in and out of the shops in York where we used to work. Chatted to friends still working in the heart of the city. As always, I play the role of the one who went away. The girl who is far from where she started.
York is filled with the old and the new. Things change so fast there. There is always a new bar, a re-furbished cafe, sparkling shop windows to be explored. York takes me back to the beging. To people and places that I loved.
" I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for truth - and truth rewarded me"
Simone de Beauvoir
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"
Anais Nin
December 18, 2005
December 17, 2005
J'adore la lumiere
I loved looking down from my window seat, 1F, to the lights below. After we has crossed the Channel I could see Nottingham, then Leeds and finally the twinkling towns of the North East. The plane touched down and I was home again.
I loved the drive home, chatting to my parents, getting excited to see my brothers. I loved driving through the little villages to Northallerton and seeing how the homes were decorated on the way. Trees full of blue light, windows laced with blinking colours. I loved how the light cut through the dark.
I loved getting home and getting into my bed, smelling the smell of my family kitchen. I loved the food that my older brother had cooked. I loved seeing my sister-in-law for only the second time. I loved getting up this morning and wandering downstairs, watching the news with my Dad, kissing and hugging my Mum.
"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way."
Pablo Neruda
I loved the drive home, chatting to my parents, getting excited to see my brothers. I loved driving through the little villages to Northallerton and seeing how the homes were decorated on the way. Trees full of blue light, windows laced with blinking colours. I loved how the light cut through the dark.
I loved getting home and getting into my bed, smelling the smell of my family kitchen. I loved the food that my older brother had cooked. I loved seeing my sister-in-law for only the second time. I loved getting up this morning and wandering downstairs, watching the news with my Dad, kissing and hugging my Mum.
"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way."
Pablo Neruda
December 16, 2005
En fin
The darkness in the air is palpable. I can't wait for the 21st of December to come and go so that the days start getting lighter little by little. It is 8.35 and all is dark outside still. I am very aware of how long this term has been. It's been 5 months since I was last in England, and I will be running away from school at lunchtime to go and catch my Charles de Gaulle flight at 5.25.
Here I am at last on the final day of this school term. This move has been hard, and it is well known that it takes the first term for a teacher to really settle down into a new school. I think I have done OK. I am excited about being back in the UK, seeing my family. Everything feels strange, staying, leaving, being at home again.
The end. At last.
"All flowers in time bend towards the sun,
I know you think there's no-one for you,
But here is one"
Jeff Buckley
"Make it go away without a word,
But promise me you'll stay and fix these things I've hurt"
The Killers
Here I am at last on the final day of this school term. This move has been hard, and it is well known that it takes the first term for a teacher to really settle down into a new school. I think I have done OK. I am excited about being back in the UK, seeing my family. Everything feels strange, staying, leaving, being at home again.
The end. At last.
"All flowers in time bend towards the sun,
I know you think there's no-one for you,
But here is one"
Jeff Buckley
"Make it go away without a word,
But promise me you'll stay and fix these things I've hurt"
The Killers
December 15, 2005
Pink coats and Police
Life is still a show of extremes for me sometimes. I finally recieved my pink coat that I had won off Ebay yesterday. I wore it when I went to D and Ls house for dinner and champagne, it goes down to my knees and is gorgoeus and warm. Everyone said what a bargain it was. Dinner was fun as always, we talked about everything from the sacred to the profane and squashed the giggles in-between. Saying goodbye to CO has been hard, I am in denial about her leaving. Another little bit of hilarity and friendship an ocean away.
On the way home with C, I hopped out of the taxi on Boulevard St Michel to walk the last three minutes to my apartment near the Pantheon. There was a group of about eight men stood near a wall. As I walked closer, I could see that there were 3 young men of Arabic origin and the other five were police. Two of the boys were up against the wall being searched, and the third was stood with a baton pointing at him. They didn't look like trouble to me, they were well dressed and young, open faces.
The Paris riots didn't seem like they were just images on the news anymore. How hard it must be to live in fear of being stopped and searched every time you leave the house. This was only a snapshot for me, something I saw for a couple of minutes. It was enough time to see the look in the eyes of the boys though. And the look in the eyes of the Policemen for that matter. It was midnight, and I felt the black hand of night curl round the throat of Paris.
"The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye,
The story of love is hello, goodbye"
Jimi Hendrix
"Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds that the darkness has got there first, and is waiting for it."
Terry Pratchett
On the way home with C, I hopped out of the taxi on Boulevard St Michel to walk the last three minutes to my apartment near the Pantheon. There was a group of about eight men stood near a wall. As I walked closer, I could see that there were 3 young men of Arabic origin and the other five were police. Two of the boys were up against the wall being searched, and the third was stood with a baton pointing at him. They didn't look like trouble to me, they were well dressed and young, open faces.
The Paris riots didn't seem like they were just images on the news anymore. How hard it must be to live in fear of being stopped and searched every time you leave the house. This was only a snapshot for me, something I saw for a couple of minutes. It was enough time to see the look in the eyes of the boys though. And the look in the eyes of the Policemen for that matter. It was midnight, and I felt the black hand of night curl round the throat of Paris.
"The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye,
The story of love is hello, goodbye"
Jimi Hendrix
"Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds that the darkness has got there first, and is waiting for it."
Terry Pratchett
December 14, 2005
The Beauty of Sleep
I went to bed last night at about 7.30 and slept the whole night through. I had wierd dreams, about big houses and being at University when buildings were bombed. I dreamed about rescuing one of my students after an army tried to blow up the students residences. I saw myself stood on a platform looking out at fields and buildings.All roads and paths were slanted. The harder I try to remember the further the dreams slipped away.
I slept until I woke up in the dark again. I carefully climbed down by ladder that connects my Mezzanine with real floor and put the kettle on. I made a cup of Yorkshire tea, got dressed and put on the TV on. Now, I feel almost human again. My brain is not foggy like it was yesterday. I don't need to keep rubbing my eyes. The memory has faded, and routine and reality has kicked in again. On we go now...
"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination"
John Lennon
"Black Car, with your creaking wheel,
Take away these thoughts of mine."
Jeff Buckley
I slept until I woke up in the dark again. I carefully climbed down by ladder that connects my Mezzanine with real floor and put the kettle on. I made a cup of Yorkshire tea, got dressed and put on the TV on. Now, I feel almost human again. My brain is not foggy like it was yesterday. I don't need to keep rubbing my eyes. The memory has faded, and routine and reality has kicked in again. On we go now...
"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination"
John Lennon
"Black Car, with your creaking wheel,
Take away these thoughts of mine."
Jeff Buckley
December 13, 2005
The Clubbing Wars part 2 - The Folie Bergere
I have lost the battle but I have won the war. Last night I went to see Jamie Cullum at the Folie Bergere. L got us free tickets and backstage passes, and it was all very last minute. At 7.45 I was in front of my TV in my pyjamas and by 8.45 I was in a taxi zooming across the city to the 9th arrondisement.
The gig was amazing, and was matched only by the fabulous venue. Intimate, I could very much imagine the dancing girls of old being suspended from the ceiling. Jamie played a brilliant set, including a version of 'I could have danced all night' from My Fair Lady. He plays with the beautiful energy that comes from true talent and youth.
We went backstage after the gig and met all the band. Jamie Cullum and company are all the nicest of boys I have to say, and all very gentlemanly. After a few shy bisous, we were off and chatting. They were all English and we were all the interesting girls who live and work in Paris. We got asked to go to an exclusive little club called Le Baron.
Huge bottles of Champagne, smoky atmosphere and a rocking dancefloor and the night was well under way. I found myself dancing like a maniac and the time slipped past. The club is tiny, with the Paris rich, famous and bored checking each other out. Somehow 3.45 arrived and I started to slow down. I hopped into a taxi and went home, leaving D, CO and L at the club. The kept going until dawn. I am here at work after less than 3 hours sleep. They stayed awake all night. Clubbing can be fun sometimes.
What was I thinking? I have to work today, I have young minds to mould. Students that need my help. I can barely open my eyes, never mind organise anything. My brain has turned to mush. The knowledge that I can live on the edge, just once in a blue Paris moon, has made it all worth it though. I will spend the day smiling about my night out under the starlight.
"You don't get nothing from sleep but a dream"
Don king
"I lost myself on a cool damp night
I gave myself in that misty light
Was hypnotized by a strange delight"
Jeff Buckley
"I don't want to get up, just let me lie in
leave me alone, I'm a twentysomething"
Jamie Cullum
The gig was amazing, and was matched only by the fabulous venue. Intimate, I could very much imagine the dancing girls of old being suspended from the ceiling. Jamie played a brilliant set, including a version of 'I could have danced all night' from My Fair Lady. He plays with the beautiful energy that comes from true talent and youth.
We went backstage after the gig and met all the band. Jamie Cullum and company are all the nicest of boys I have to say, and all very gentlemanly. After a few shy bisous, we were off and chatting. They were all English and we were all the interesting girls who live and work in Paris. We got asked to go to an exclusive little club called Le Baron.
Huge bottles of Champagne, smoky atmosphere and a rocking dancefloor and the night was well under way. I found myself dancing like a maniac and the time slipped past. The club is tiny, with the Paris rich, famous and bored checking each other out. Somehow 3.45 arrived and I started to slow down. I hopped into a taxi and went home, leaving D, CO and L at the club. The kept going until dawn. I am here at work after less than 3 hours sleep. They stayed awake all night. Clubbing can be fun sometimes.
What was I thinking? I have to work today, I have young minds to mould. Students that need my help. I can barely open my eyes, never mind organise anything. My brain has turned to mush. The knowledge that I can live on the edge, just once in a blue Paris moon, has made it all worth it though. I will spend the day smiling about my night out under the starlight.
"You don't get nothing from sleep but a dream"
Don king
"I lost myself on a cool damp night
I gave myself in that misty light
Was hypnotized by a strange delight"
Jeff Buckley
"I don't want to get up, just let me lie in
leave me alone, I'm a twentysomething"
Jamie Cullum
December 12, 2005
Rue du Dragon
A couple of weeks ago L, CO and I went to a place that L had found called Lilis on Rue du Dragon. It is a small New York style hole in the wall that sells brownies, muffins and carrot cake type stuff. The food is amazing and the staff are friendly, so we found ourselves keen to go back there again. So did the rest of Paris. The place is tiny and there is often people queuing out the door to buy takeaway american patisserie.
Also on this street is a shop called "Le Petit Mendigote". When we went in their before, the woman looked at us as though we were contaminating her shop. She scowled when we touched anything and puffed when she had to put the dispalys back as they were. When I went in there on Saturday, she greeted me like an old friend - 'Bonjour! Ca va?'. She must have been happy that I wanted to buy more things, also she must have realised that I live in Paris as I have been there twice in three weeks.
On Sunday night I met with C and B to go for pizza. Right next to Metro Mabillon is a place that serves the best pizza in Paris. Wood burning oven fresh. It was nice to spend some time with them, life is so busy for all of us at the moment. I walked home in the cold, nipped, rosy cheeks. Things have felt much better and brighter this weekend. I got up on Saturday to find the skies were blue, blue, blue. Told you so.
"And I never saw blue like that before.
Across the sky, around the world"
Shawn Colvin
"Now your grip's too strong
You can't catch love with a net or a gun"
James (From the song 'Tomorrow')
Also on this street is a shop called "Le Petit Mendigote". When we went in their before, the woman looked at us as though we were contaminating her shop. She scowled when we touched anything and puffed when she had to put the dispalys back as they were. When I went in there on Saturday, she greeted me like an old friend - 'Bonjour! Ca va?'. She must have been happy that I wanted to buy more things, also she must have realised that I live in Paris as I have been there twice in three weeks.
On Sunday night I met with C and B to go for pizza. Right next to Metro Mabillon is a place that serves the best pizza in Paris. Wood burning oven fresh. It was nice to spend some time with them, life is so busy for all of us at the moment. I walked home in the cold, nipped, rosy cheeks. Things have felt much better and brighter this weekend. I got up on Saturday to find the skies were blue, blue, blue. Told you so.
"And I never saw blue like that before.
Across the sky, around the world"
Shawn Colvin
"Now your grip's too strong
You can't catch love with a net or a gun"
James (From the song 'Tomorrow')
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