Aller Retour

I landed yesterday at lunchtime, and went straight into my meeting pretty much. When that was all over, I waited for D by taking the Metro straight to Trocadero and onto that Platform where all romantic comedies end up when the characters go to Paris. You know, the vast white marble space that overlooks the Eiffel Tower. I lived in Paris and had never been there, but I went yesteraday. My patent black shoes clicked their way over the what must be one of the most famous veiws in the world. I stopped, sighed and thought 'That's why'.

Here I am now, writing from the Internet cafe on the corner of Rue Soufflot, the one that I blogged from the entire time I lived in Paris. I am looking at the same things across the street, feeling some familar feelings and looking forward to a few more days in the city that seems so full of light and life. After today, G and K will arrive in the morning and I will start all over again, tours on buses and hidden corners that I found when I lived here, although very little of Paris remains undiscovered these days.

I don't know where I am going, and I know where I have been, but this has been the most glorious of breaks. It has given me a chance to breathe at a time when I felt I had no breath left, and has reminded me that where-ever it is, it is not there.

Everyone loves a list...

So there are lots of things on the horizon and I know that as soon as I have a new place to go, life will breathe a sigh of relief and settle down before it speeds up.
Mostly in the European region, at the moment there are The Netherlands, Germany, France and the UK on the list, with a crazy left field China steaming down the wings.

The years already seems to be whipping past, and I can't believe that it is already February. There has been a million tons of snow over the last week and there is more to come. This will be my third move overseas and this time of year, the January and the February and the looking make the waiting period seem like it lasts as long as the winter seems to. All I need to do is tuck myself in, get a hot water bottle and wait for the Spring.

Oh, and to go with my new start and return to the blog, I got myself a lovely, shiny, new camera for my birthday last week.

Burst

It is nearly four months since I last blogged, my Blogger home page informs me. After all those years, I know why I stopped. Work had become so complicated and every day was filled with things that I would never in a million years put on my blog for the world to see. Yet here I am a few months later feeling like I might have a few things to say again.

I left work early today to go and get a parking permit from the local council offices. An hours waiting, followed by a long walk found me at the Alexandria bookshop on Andrassy, the massive new one with a cafe that illicits sighs of wonder at the golden ceiling. Looking for books about other cities, I couldn't find what I was looking for. This is my third year in Budapest, and the time has come to move on. In June, I will move some-where new, I just feel like it is all out in the ether enough to be able to say it on here.

It is incredibly difficult and very exciting being in the phase of looking for new chances and challenges in any number of places. I find that now, as ever, I am drawn back to Paris. Perhaps I have unfinished business with this city, maybe I just want a job I can enjoy and Sundays in the City of Lights. It is possible that Paris is drawing me back in, but there are other places to think about too. What about home? Seven years stand between me and England, time that has made me feel more British than I ever did when I was living there.

One thing is clear, things have to change. Walking home from Alexandria, I passed a small Jewish bookshop that has opened on Klauzal Ter. Gazing past all the tempting, homely books on Jewish cooking I saw this book. Something inside me burst and I could feel myself deflate as I found myself in the midst of a waiting game once again.

"Leave your stepping stones behind, something calls for you.
Forget the dead you've left, they will not follow you.
The vagabond who's rapping at your door
Is standing in the clothes that you once wore.
Strike another match, go start anew
And it's all over now, Baby Blue."

Bob Dylan (It's all over now, baby blue)

Attention

Why is it that I had to wait for some-one to notice my absence before deciding to blog again? The summer is all over now and outside the window I can hear the rain falling so hard that it almost sounds like applause. I have had the wierdest three weeks of my life at work, and now that it feels like autumn is finally on its way, a nrew phase begins again. September is the new january apparantly.

One way or another, this will be my final year in Budapest, and whilst last year I kept away from my blog for fear of giving too much away, I would like to be better at recording what I actually do while I am in and around Hungary. There is a lot going on at weekends these days and it would be nice to try and remember some of it, rain and all. At the moment however, there is only work and sleep, with precious little in between. It is astonishing to see how the routine climbs back into first place.

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
Dolly Parton

Over the sea to Skye

This summer has been in very definite chunks of time; a week in Budapest, two weeks in Yorkshire, Paris, more Yorkshire, Isle of Skye and then Budapest. Now that I am back from the Isle of Skye, all thoughts return from holidays to real life and a return to Hungary. This has been the summer that lasted forever, with the simultaneous feeling that there has been lots going on and also long stretches of very little.

The Isle of Skye was simply one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen and I will be posting pictures over the next few days.Skye involved lots of things, all of which were affected by the weather. The wondrous landscape is sweeping, breathtaking and ever changing as the clouds, sun, rain and mist waves across the peaks and valleys. To wake up every morning and look out at the Cuillin Moutains was a joy.

The beautful joy of sitting at my little desk in the VII district and listening to the life around me whilst sipping coffee is what I am looking forward to now, as I travel home to Budapest on Tuesday morning. I have enjoyed taking pictures over the last few weeks and am hoping to have the time to sort all the pics out before the end of the week. I never imagined that I would miss my little apartment so much, that I would long for the sights, smells and, most importantly, the sunshine of my lovely Jewish quarter.

Mine all mine

Has the world not been given the memo? Why does no-one realise that Paris belongs to me? It is mine, my secret city, the one where I wander down the streets that bring forth in me the most heart wrenching emotions and make me remember why the French Capital has been immortalised in so many songs, paintings and films.

Going back there was the emotional experience I expected, but also held quite a few surprises. Firstly, I had forgotten how expensive the city is. Ridiculously expensive, like 5 times more to sit and have a coffee than Northallerton or Budapest. And the cost of everything just makes people shrug their shoulders and say 'well, it is Paris...'

Seeing D and L again felt like no time had passed at all, but it has. Three years since I stood weeping at the airport, with D, L and J watching me go through the departure gate like a scene from French Kiss, I walked on, didn't look back and moved to Budapest. There was a bit of messing about in the middle, but too long a story for here and now.

The Five days went by in a whirl of dinner parties in the 16th arrondisement, summer soldes at Le Printemps and walks in the Jardin du Luxembourg that felt some-how like the moment had passed. I love Paris, and I have loved it and missed it while I was away, now that the mad ideal I had built up in my mind has been knocked down a bit maybe I can enjoy the city for what it is...romantic, breathtaking and special. Only for me though.