The quiet things that no-one ever knows

There are places in this city where you can feel the space and hear the quiet. There are places where the people are not, and where town planning has come up with wide streets and open sqaures. On each corner is a structure that is carved with love and gazed upon in adoration.

I have started to realise that in the last couple of weeks I am choosing the places I go because of how they are, not what they look like. When I want to be relaxed, I go to the Parks, or the river. When I want to be away from people, I choose the backstreets of the Left Bank. When I want to be reminded that I am lucky to live where people want to be, I go to the ninth and mix with the throng of tourists and Parisiennes.

How many secrets can one city hide?

Baby, it's cold outside

Paris has been below the point of zero for a few days now. Sometimes it is so cold that the sky is brightest blue and sometimes white coulds blot out every colour the sky could have been. On Friday the school kept the children inside because it was 'too cold'. It made me laugh as I thought about the full body snowsuits that the kids used to wear in Poland.

There is no snow, but the fountains are all icing over and people are clicking their cameras in wonder, me included. In the Jardin du Luxembourg, the usual Sunday walkers are wrapped up so tight that you can only see their eyes. I have to admit that my heavy pink tweed coat suddenly does not feel so heavy.

I am back to my student days of thick woolly socks and hot water bottles in bed. Even though my apartment in teeny tiny, and should therefore be easy to heat, the windows are from the 15th century or something and so let in more cold than they keep out. I will be waiting for Spring after these cold nights. Still love the crisp, sunny Winter days though.

" Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself"
George Bernard Shaw

The hours slip away

Just when I think I know something, it seems to slip from my grasp. D and I spent the day together day, we met at lunchtime. You will be hearing from her soon as she has agreed to be my first guest blogger. I didn't want to be outside today. Didn't want to leave the quiet chaos of my messy apartment, but wanted to see D so outside in the cold I trekked.

The hours have run blurry today. And now the day is done. What did we do in this time away from work? Already I can't remember, I just know that we started to love Paris all over again. The sky is milky white and there is a tension over the whole city and the cold fog moves slowly down. The fountains are frozen over and the city feels serious.

Even through the white, there is a dignity to the place that surprised me a little. Maybe I mistook it for Parisienne arrogance a few months ago, but now I know better. My time here is a series of highs and lows, but only when I stop to listen to the noise do I hear the silence. Paris has always been here and she always will be. I found a little settled feeling today when there had been none.

"Everything has it's wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content"
Helen Keller

"When you thought that it was over,
You could feel it all around"
Coldplay

A different point of view

I was walking down Boulevard St Michel this morning on the way to the Metro when I stopped half way down. On Fridays, I normally get the Metro to the lower school, but this morning I decided to take the bus. I got the 63, a bus I never normally take.

It took me over an hour to get here this morning, but it was very much worth the time. We drove through the back of the 6th and along the river. We went past the Asemblee Nationale where you could see the Place de la Concorde across the way. The road was busy and there was plenty of sitting in traffic, but Paris is relaxed when you are on a bus and not worried about what time you arrive where you are going.

Funny how one little change can make everything seem less routine. The days are getting lighter and it is easier to see in the day light.

"Never write about a place until you are away from it. That gives you perspective"
Ernest Hemingway

"There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I do"
Anais Nin

In Paris now

There is a blog ring that I check every day called www.inparisnow.com. It is a daily selection of blogs chosen by Laurie and put together in a sort of mini newspaper way. I have even been honoured enough to be on there myself a couple of times. All the posts on there were written by people who now live in Paris.

The thing is that the other bloggers make me feel a bit like a tourist. Some of the posts are about actual French politics, or French pop culture. I am still in the gaping open mouthed at the pretty buildings stage. I feel like I should be more invested in France as a nation, their historical and cultural heritage. When all I really want to do is figure out when I can fit in another trip to Gallerie Laffayette to snout through the remnants of the sales.

I like reading the blogs brought together on this site precisely because it makes me think that I do know something about life in France. Being English there are many stereotypes that we hold the French up to. Some are ridiculously true, and some are surprisingly false. The point is that all this has to be re-learnt. When am I going to fit in the time to learn about 'culture' and stuff when I have to go shopping?

Tree hugging hippy

I have become obsessed with the trees that line the streets of Paris. Every branch is stripped bare and casts shadows on the floor as the light filters through. I like to stare at the sky through the branches, it makes me think that soon the bareness will be gone and things will all look totally different.

If I look closely, I swear that I can see the tiny brown buds of next Springs leaves getting ready to push into green when the time comes. When the sky is brilliant blue, you can almost believe that Spring is just around the corner. The Trocadero Fountain was frozen this morning though, so I won't hold my breath.

Maybe I am spending too much time in the Jardin du Luxembourg, but I swear that I can sense the change day by day, week by week. The weather is that sort of wild, bitter cold that bites your face when you are outside. I love it, it makes me feel awake.

"The love that lasts the longest is the love that was never returned"
William Somerset Maugham

Hot Fuss

I read an article once about a single man. He was talking about how when you live alone you do every tiny thing for yourself. If you put something down, you have to pick it up. If you want a sandwich you have to make it yourself. He explained how he had stayed at a friends house for the weekend and when she woke up first, she brought him a cup of tea in bed. The gesture made him cry.

When you are so used to being independent, and people do little things for you, it can be totally overwhelming.The gifts that I recieved and the fuss that people made meant that I rarely knew how to react. Lucy gave me the most beautiful diamond earrings, they seemed just too special for me to have. D and L put so much thought into what they gave me. They remembered things from ages ago, things that I had forgotten.

The storm has passed and everything is calm now that I am in my 30s. I am left with cards on the table and wrapping paper clogging up my kitchen. It really was not so bad after all. It was made perfect by the phone calls, the white chocolate and raspberry muffins, the red wine, the roquefort, the surprise, and a million other little things.

"Not just sometimes but always,
I know what I know"
Idlewild

"The day is breaking, we're still here"
The Killers