Cold and clear

The weather in Budapest is perfect. It is cold but sunny, so I walked around for hours yesterday doing not much expect watching and breathing in the fresh air. I watched these breakdancers on Vorosmarty Square for ages. If you ever get to Budapest I would totally recommend watching the streetlife, these guys were amazing. I couldn't help but wonder what the square would be like after I get back from Madrid when the Christmas Markets will start.

Gone

J lost her Dad less than a year ago and yesterday lost her Mum too. I am sobbing and can't stop because I am so far away and can't drive to be with her. Nothing I can do can make it any better and the fact that she has had to go through this twice in a year breaks my heart. It is strange using the word 'lost', but it is only because I can't bear the alternatives.

All souls day

On November the first in some countries, Cemeteries are like picnic spots. Parents take their children, a flask of coffee and light candles to remember those who are no longer with us. The atmosphere is never bleak, as it is a day when you can talk about those you have lost and visit them, feeling like they are still with you, and that is not a cause for sadness, only rememberance.

I was tired when I left school yesterday, it was a day with no children and so I found myself out the door at 3.15 ready to go home and hibernate as is the desire brought on by the dark evenings. When I lived in Warsaw I remembered all souls day as I visted Powanski cemtery with K, N, Ally and J. It was packed with people and looked so beautiful. Tired as I was last night I had brought my map and knew that if I didn't make it to the cemetery I had located near my district, I would be mightily annoyed at my own laziness.

Kerepesi Cemetery lies near Keleti train station, and has the most gorgeous statues I have ever seen. Melancholy, angelic, just so lovely. The graves were all lit up with candles and no-where in the city have I seen autumn in all its glory like it was there. The leaves carpet the roads in a vibrant gold from the avenues of trees that mark the paths between the graves. I took lots of photos, but could never seem to get the lights right, but I posted a couple on here anyway.

Born to do it?

You Should Be a Teacher

You are patient, optimistic, and good at explaining things. You work well with all types of people, and you are a good role model. Success and positive outcomes are extremely important to you. You are both a good leader and instructor. People look up to and depend on you. You do best when you: - Can see the results of your work - Are able to teach someone a new skill You would also be a good nurse or non fiction writer.

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

Girl interrupted

Getting back to work after a few days off seems to be more knackering than it was when your body and mind are in the swing of things. I am off to the Cirque de Soleil this evening, which should be nice and exciting, but won't feel as comforting as a full nine hours sleep. I am a loser and I do not care.

I didn't want to come back to Budapest after my trip home. I was only in Yorkshire a few days and it made me feelo happy to look at the buildings and talk to the locals. I managed to get in a trip to see L and a Saturday evening with N. Maybe I am not as settled in Budapest as I thought. It is hard these first few months, now that the nights are drawing in and it was dark when I left school for home last night.

I feel a bit spaced out today, but it is nothing that some sleep and good food won't cure. This week is a short one, as there are Hungarian holidays on Thursday and Friday. After that there are only a couple of weeks before I am off to Madrid. I shouldn't be counting down the days until my two weeks in Yorkshire for Christmas, but I am.

Seeking inspiration

I have not written for a while, although I started a book a few months ago and gave up on. I never got the response I wanted from any publishers and find that I now have two and a half manuscripts languishing in a drawer somewhere. Over and above all the teaching and travelling, I dream of a life where I could make a living as a writer. It takes such talent and poise in your writing and I simply have no idea if I have either of these things.

Now that I have a laptop and a room of my own, there is no reason not to write just for enjoyment. I have another idea for a book and want to go back to the one that I started a while ago and keep writing, as I have more ideas after my novel hiatus. This weekend we have four days off school as there are Hungarian national holidays. I spent a fortune in the UK, so the weekend in Vienna that I had planned is totally out of the question. I think that coffee and writing may be the way forward. I feel serious about wanting a career as a writing, but lord knows I don't act it.

Just a (Yorkshire) girl

This week has felt very long, having N to stay and then getting on a plane and coming back to North Yorkshire means that I feel that I have had a real break. I miss Northallerton and the area surrounding but I still like living in Budapest. That is a bit of a contradiction for me. Usually I am desperate to get away from a place, determined not to go go backwards. These last few years abroad have been lived at one end of an extreme scale, focused on leaving England forever or living in Poland and not being able to imagine living anywhere else.

I met L for a Saturday coffee today and am about to get into the car and go for dinner with N. It feels like those weekends when I was working and living here, the sameness, the comfort. I am driving my little battered pink car again, she keeps revving up, and it not happy at having been left all these months. It is surprising how fast things fall into place when I come home. For a moment this morning, walking through the market, cappuccino in hand, winter coat wrapped around me, it was almost like Budapest had never happened. Those months slipped past me and I was in the same place I was over three months ago when I was living here.