Blow me away

The wind is howling outside and I am keeping myself warm by auctioning off a load of my DVD box sets on ebay. There is something so addictive about checking the site every half an hour and finding that there are more people watching and more people bidding on your stuff. It makes me want to rifle through everything and find loads more stuff that I can sell.

If I sell enough then I would be able to avoid going into schools and doing supply work. I would also be able to make my living sitting in front of my computer all day with the kettle close by. How cool would that be?

I have to go into town this afternoon and need to make it a mission not to spend any money. It is all about surviving the next few weeks and not finding myself so skint that I can't set myself up for my new job. Still feels funny that it is the middle of January and I have no job. I wonder if I will have a job by my birthday?

How to be a domestic Goddess

Everyone knows that Christmas is a time for eating loads of different foods. Even though Christmas is technically finished I am still very much enjoying eating local food that I would never have been able to get while I lived overseas. Every time I go to hang out with N she seems to be making some amazing food at her place.

Last week she cooked a traditional Georgian English chicken meal, with cinnamon butter beetroot sauce and such a yummy mix of flavours that I have to say I have been telling everyone about it for days afterwards. It was very olde worlde, but it was great to see her cooking and playing in the kitchen while me and S sat and drank cups of tea. It was like things were in the summer, before I went to Poland and he moved to Rome.

If I stay in the UK, I look forward to having a proper kitchen. I would have bit pots and pans and boy would I be cooking up a storm.

Eyes tired

After so many hours looking at this computer screen my eyes are blurry and I am starting to worry, just a tiny little bit. I need the wide open spaces again. It really did not take me long to notice how my feet started to itch whenever I thought about staying in England. There are no jobs, will have to wait until tomorrow when the websites change.

Everyone is tipping over with the January blues in this house. My brothers and family are all cold, tired, grey and suffering from a festive hangover that is going to last long enough to make us all emotional and cranky for a whole month. It is my birthday in three weeks and I fully intend on being in another country, in a new apartment by the time that 31 rolls around.

I miss Paris and I miss Warsaw. But I want somewhere new now. I am ready for butterflies, new cities and unfamiliar vistas. I just want away from this January here, from my 31t birthday when I never liked the 30th. I want away from moaning, jobs, moaning. New, new, new. That is what I want. See that goal, now go and kick the ball in the net.

“The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.”
Thucydides

Baby boy

Like M, I would like to spend my time gazing out of the window when I should be doing as I am told. He has an excuse, he is not even two years old. I, on the other hand, have no reason. I am 30 years old and should know better. It is now the 3rd of January and not only do I not have a job I cannot even be bothered to look for one. Friday. TES. All systems go.

I am still in a Christmas frame of mind though, I am still happy to chat to friends about my future, it is settling me into what I want to do. Once I know that, I can go out and do it. Not being sure about where to go next puts you into a void, you are falling. Ambition and focus are only good if you have a goal that you must achieve, otherwise where does that professional focus go?

New Year, new me.

This is the time of year you know, the last year is gone and we like to herald in the new one by making loads of promises to ourselves that we cannot really keep. Well, this is the year that I will carefully consider what my resolutions will be and I fully intend on keeping them. We should all ignore my slagging off New Year over the last few days or it will diminish the power of the promises.

Five Resolutions for 2007

1) I will spend less money - This has got to be done or I may start 2008 with the resolution 'must file for bankruptcy'.
2) I will enjoy my music more - this entails 2000 CDs, one Ipod and lots of uploading time.
3) I will stop buying books, and read the ones that I bought, put on my 'to read' pile, but bought more books and read them instead.
4) I will not settle for a stop gap job. As with men, I will wait until the right one comes along. I ill wait for a job that excites me and makes me progress professionally. I will be active in searching for this job.
5) I will grow my hair longer than it has ever been. I have hair that is below shoulder length at the moment and have always wanted long hair but get bored and cut it all off before it gets a chance to grow. Not this year.

I am quite pleased as these resolutions seem very do-able, I think that this may be the start of a good year. A positive year full of changes and moves, that is always my favourite kind of year.

What are yours? Does anyone have any good resolutions this year?

Comfort in sound

There are times when I feel old, and the times in between when I remember that I am young are getting more and more scattered through the months. Idiocy is underracted once in a while and I am pleased to be able to think about the silliness that followed one womans discovery of a childs Karaoke PS2 game.

S, K, E and I started the evening off a little shyly. However, when you get three grown women, one excitable child and Tiffanys' I think we're alone now, who could imagine that anything less than carnage would follow. Once K realised that it was time for E to go to bed and time for us to crack open the booze, a mad dash to Tesco later to pick up Singstar Legends and we had some fresh songs to sing.

After six hours of singing our little hearts out we were all exhausted, but agreed that anything that followed this marathon would just be a let down. I myself performed a moving version of No woman, no cry that nearly brought everyone to tears. I am now in proud possession of a blue sequined singing headband that S bought for us all to wear. Everytime that blue catches the light through the window I snigger.

Festive slowdown

It is New Years Eve tomorrow and the feelings of festivity are slowing down now. My entry into 2007 will be a cinema double bill with L, and a bedtime of before 12.00 midnight. I hate New Year and feel that the whole concept of 'things will be better next year' is a load of rubbish. I spend all my time thinking about how to move forward, I don't need to do it on that one day of the year, in those few momenst.

One New Years Day has come and gone it will be back down to reality with a bump. I have no job. I have set the deadline of Friday the 12th of January to get some sort of job, even if it is relief teaching. That gives me 10 days of focused searching and applying to get down to. It is strange to think that this is exactly what happened in the summer. I got back from Canada, three days later I had a phone call and two days after that I was on a plane back to Poland. I wonder what is in store this time.